Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Logistics and the Specimen Cup

S has never really wanted to get checked out. He has been convinced from the beginning that all conception challenges were mine. When asked to have his sperm tested, he would agree and then not make the appointment. Or, when I made the appointment, something would "come up" and he had to cancel. So, when he actually made and KEPT the appointment with his doctor last Friday, I thought our challenges were over. Little did I know that there would be more hurtles to jump.
Here are the details to the latest snafu. S was handed a specimen cup told it needed to be filled after three days of abstinence, kept warm, and delivered to the lab within thirty minutes of filling it. Then he was ushered out the door; filling the cup at the doctor's office on Friday was not a possibility. We don't live within thirty minutes of the hospital's lab so filling the cup within the privacy of our own home was not an option. S needed to find a place where he could do his thing and not be charged with indecent exposure or something like that. We brainstormed a list of folks we knew within a thirty minute radius of the lab, but how do you ask a buddy if you can use his bathroom for a while? Mission impossible, right?
Here is what the man decided to do: 1. Wear his puffy jacket to work, specimen cup and brown paper bag in his backpack. 2. Use the bathroom at work at a relatively quiet time. 3. Collect the necessary, put cup in paper bag, paper bag under his arm while wearing big puffy coat. 4. Deliver it to the lab, five minutes away. 5. Pray to God those few people who were working suspect nothing. Who knew it would be such an ordeal. At least his test didn't require mega doses of antibiotics and being filled up with dye.

1 comment:

infertility just sucks said...

Honestly, I will never get over how squeamish some guys can be with all of this.

We have to put our legs in stirrups with spotlights, dildo cams near daily plus all kinds of random people looking between our legs! Seriously - it's not a contest which one is more uncomfortable!

At least he gets a happy ending of sorts on this one.

Why didn't he just collect at the Dr's office in the first place - just on another day?

Argh! Men!